I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
