I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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