and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
