she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
