So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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