i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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