ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
