I didn't shave. On purpose
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
