the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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