I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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