Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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