Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
