I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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