I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
