Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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