We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
