She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
