We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize