what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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