With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
