the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
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