my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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