great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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