shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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