i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
