East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
