She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
