It's Friday. Sex?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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