are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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