alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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