can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
