This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
