Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
