Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
