I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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