Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
