Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
