Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Panties = found
Randomize
