We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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