he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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