is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
