Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Randomize
