Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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