shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
