I'm gonna have a badass scar
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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