Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
