Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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