Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
