We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
vagina is talking i cant
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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