if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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