don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just gift wrapped bread.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
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the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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