so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Found your dick twin last night
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
