there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize