I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
