It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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