i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
