alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
