Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize