Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
