One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Randomize
