why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just had sex on a roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize