my soul wont recognize me after tonight
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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