i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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